Now, before I start, I'm not claiming that I'm an ideal person, a perfect person, or that we're living in what would be the ideal place. But I'd just like to make it clear, that we're trying our hardest.
A story in the news yesterday really wound me up. David Cameron, our wonderful "elected" Prime Minister had said that "runaway fathers" (his new catchphrase) should be looked upon by society in the same manner as drink drivers. Basically, with disgust. Now, partly, I agree with this. Having come from a background where my biological father was a "runaway father", who failed dismally at paying maintenance for his 3 children. I'm not one to get involved in politics, but this story got to me. Yes, it's wrong that one parent has to foot the bill of bringing up a child while the other parent pays nothing. What is more wrong however, is the way this statement was made.
It's not just single mothers out there. What about the single fathers? Society conveniently forgets that sometimes the father is actually left looking after the child. It's like society can't handle the idea of the maternal role not being fulfilled, which is reflected in maintainance cases that go to court. If a father doesn't pay maintainance, it's very difficult for them to seek access to their child, on account of the financial difficulty they are putting the mother through. Howeverm it's not the same for the reverse. Apparently, it's "a mother's right" to see her child, regardless of whether they pay money towards said child's upkeep or the emotional trauma this places the child under.
And now, the government want to charge people for using the service they provide to ensure that child maintainance is paid. Surely this reeks of hipocrysy? The governemnt want absent fathers to pay child maintainance, but they want the mothers to pay a service fee for receiving said maintainance... Oh no wait, it's just another example of how the government is trying to get more money. I'm sure someone will be getting a big bonus for coming up with that idea, all paid for by the tax payer of course...
But anyway, aside from the politics aspect of this, the reason this story affected me so much is to do with Emilia's mum. There is still the issue of contact, and we have a court hearing coming up soon. I can see it from both sides really. The welfare lady (I don't really know what to call her) is going to suggest one final meeting between Emilia and her mum so that Emilia can say goodbye. I agree with this, as if she is denied the chance to say goodbye, it will have repercussions later on in her life. However, I don't think prolonged contact would be a good idea. Her mum's solicitor is saying that she is asking to see Emilia, well at the end of th day that's tough. She gave up that right when she abused and neglected her own innocent daughter. Just because she is now dying doesn't meant that right is now reinstated. Furthermore, the way that she is dying means that she's is going to deteriorate further and further, and how is it in Emilia's best interests to see that? I also feel that if her mum is so concerned about her, why isn't she paying maintainance towards her upkeep? How can she deman to see a child she refuses to pay for? What do they think children live on, air?
Which brings me to my final point (I did warn that this would be a rant...). As the child welfare lady has now seen that Emilia is settled, and knows that she calls me Mummy and it was a voluntary thing that she started after she saw her mum last time, in her report to the judge, she is going to mention this fact. I know full well that the other side is going to kick up a fuss about this, but at the end of the day they can't do anything about it. They have no say over who Edd dates, they have no say about where Emilia lives (as long as it's not outside the UK), and as they've broken the court order preventing contact by sending a t-shirt with a picture of Emilia's emaciated dying mum on it (honestly, WTF?!), they pretty much can't say anything. I am the one who pays for Eilia's food, her clothes, her toys. I'm the one who takes her to school, who cooks her dinners, who reads with her, encourages her to write and plays with her. They gave all of that up when they neglected her. So they can say naff all about our little jigsaw family, about Emilia's welfare, when they aren't even prepared to pay to ensure that she has food to eat. They never bothered before though, so why would they now?
Nothing is going to break this little family up.
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