We're off on holiday!

We're off to my parents' house today for 2 days, then flying to Sweden on Monday morning. I'm mega excited, it feels lik an age since I left this country!

What's the best way to celebrate???

With a blooming huge chocolate fudge curly wurly ice cream sundae! (with the chocolate fudge cake pieces removed, that's how much I love my man)

We felt so fat afterwards. But it just goes to show that being coeliac doesn't mean you can't have nice desserts!

I am also very proud of this man right here. Oh yes.

A message to my man

Dearest Eddbum,

Today, I am very proud of you. You've got a job! I know you're trying to be all modest and blase about it, but inside I know you're incredibly happy. I am very very happy too. I know things have been tough this past year for you, and I am hoping that I've made things better. You're an incredibly strong person, even though you don't think it. You're a wonderful dad to Emilia, she thinks the world of you. You're a wonderful boyfriend to me, and I am incredibly lucky to have you. I know I moan sometimes, and nag, and get grumpy about trivial things, I just want every aspect of our life together to be perfect. It's days like today that make me realise that what we have is perfect already. So what if the washing up doesn't get done? We all have each other, we help each other and spur each other on. Even at 6 in the morning when Batman has an accident on the bed....

Today is the start of new things for us, bigger and better things. I want you to know that I love you stupidly big amounts, and I know you're going to do great.

Love,

Your Special K

How do you get a 5 year old to eat vegetables?!

Grow them and get her to pick them! It's worked! Emilia is now eating her vegetables without any fuss. She's even saying yum and giving them a thumbs up! Mega achievement!

Tantrums... a mother's worst nightmare

Look at that face. That doesn't look like a face that is capable of high pitched screaming, shouting, crying and stamping feet, does it? Well, looks can be deceiving! The other day, this lovely face had a full blown tantrum in Asda. Emilia rarely has tantrums, and she has never had one with me when we're out. I think I handled it quite well.

What was this tantrum about? I hear you cry. Well, a Disney Princess magazine. I was going to buy her it, as her teachers had said great things about her at school that morning when I went in to see how she's doing. I said to her she'd have to be a good  girl all evening to have the magazine. She agreed. I'm all about reinforcing positive behaviour you see. 4 years of a psychology degree comes in handy sometimes. Cut forward 5 minutes, Emilia decides she's going to lick my arm. Not good. Magazine goes back on the shelf. Tantrum begins. Snot EVERYWHERE. Stamping feet. High pitched wails of the word magazine are repeated over and over. I just carry on dragging her around the shop as I still needed to get things for dinner, and no screaming 5 year old was going to stop me.

What surprised me most of all was the sympathetic looks from other parents in the store. I thought I'd have judgemental looks, people thinking I couldn't control my unruly child. I guess it must have been obvious that she had misbehaved because everytime she shouted "I want the magazine", I just replied "Well, you should have been good." Now, I know some of you might think that it was a bit extreme for just an arm lick. However, I think I was right. I'm not going to encourage behaviour like that. Yes, it's not the most naughty of actions, but I want to nip things like that in the bud before they get out of control. I don't agree with smacking, so I never use that as a threat of punishment, and besides, she was hit all the time at her mum's, it's not a real threat for her. Emilia can't tell the time yet, so saying she's going to bed early isn't a threat really. The witholding of pudding is reserved for meal times when she's refusing to eat her food. So, it seemed like the best idea. And it worked. She was as good as gold all evening, and the next day, so I bought her the magazine to reward that good behaviour. It's taking a long time to get her out of the habits that the other lot got her in to. She knows I don't respond to tantrums, and she won't get what she wants if she screams at me. Slowly, but surely, we're getting there.

The day I got burnt

On Saturday we went to Tenby with Emilia's Sunday School. I don't know if I explained before, but I'm not overly religious. I'm not an aethiest, more of a religious agnostic. Edd's parents are religious. They're in the choir. Edd is religious. I go along to the church when I'm not working to keep everyone happy. This Sunday School trip was actually nothing to do with religion at all, so I was happy. We went to the beach and had a whale of a time. The weather wasn't forecast to be that great. The weather man was wrong....

I burnt my chest. It hurt.

Still, it was fun on the beach, even if madam did get soaked. She told us she didn't want her swimming costume because she wouldn't go in the sea. Fine, we said, your choice. As soon as we got to the beach, guess who wanted to go in the sea?! Well, there was no harm in letting her run in and out in her dress. We did bring some spare clothes for her, the thoughtful parents that we are.

Here are some photos....

The water was a bit cold! 

Picnic on the beach! With a side helping of sand.... 

A menacing seagull keeping an eye out for food 

Quite possibly my favourite picture 

Yep, I buried her feet. 

Tired out Daddy! 

Jellyfish! 

Boys will be boys and jump over gaps 

Action shot!

My little red riding hood

Emilia's class had a sharing assembly at their school. This is where the parents are invited in and the children put on a show consisting of all the things they have learnt in the term. Emilia was Little Red Riding Hood. I made the red cape myself, rather proud of that. She was very good in the show and I was very proud of her. Move over Catherine Zeta Jones, there's a new star in town! Here are some pictures...

 

Nobody said it would be easy, they just said it would be worth it...

Today, I have felt like the worst mum in the world. I'm tired, stressed out, and I told Emilia I didn't want to be her mum. I didn't mean it, and I feel like a horrible horrible person. I just lost my temper. Being a step mum is so hard. Nothing can prepare you for it. Being a step mum to a little girl who is as damaged as Emilia is, well, it's incredibly hard. Somedays, it's all fine. Somedays, she is like the child from hell. I can't blame her, she has had a terrible start to life. She doesn't know right from wrong. Well, she was taught that wrong is right really. I know this is going to take a long time. As she gets more settled, the bad behaviour will disappear. She won't be so needy, so disruptive, so scared, so confused. It's just that sometimes I feel I can't cope. It's all so much in such a short space of time that sometimes it's just so overwhelming. I worry that I'm doing everything wrong. I never had time to prepare for this. And yet... I wouldn't change it for the world. When I think about how she was mistreated I get so angry, and I just want to make sure that nothing bad every happens to her again. I'm trying to encourage her, stimulate her, get her brain active. There is a clever child in there, I know there is, but I'm worried that her lack of stimulation in her early years might mean it's too late. I don't know where to turn for advice. This family life is a learning experience for all of us. I know it'll be worth it, and I'm proud every time I hear her call me mum. I just wish it was a little bit easier.

It's been one of those days

One where everything is just too overwhelming and my mind won't switch off. Enough brain, sleep time now.

Our day trip to "sunny" mid-wales...

The sun was shining in Gorseinon, the temperature was a comfortable 20 degrees, so we thought we'd go for a picnic lunch while Emilia was in school. Off we set in the car, listening to The Wombats and feeling good about life.

We headed towards Carmarthen, then went to a place called Ferryside. No lie, as we pulled up, the clouds rolled over...

But, we decided to make the most of it, and have our picnic in the car instead!

I always forget how much I actually like cucumber until I eat it again and I'm like "Oh yeah! I love this stuff!"... thus experiencing this moment when making a cucumber and ham sandwich.

Then the rain came (as it tends to often do in Wales)...

And we saw some crazy men fishing at the estuary. They were crazy, it was very windy!

Then we spotted this dog who appeared to be just wandering around without an owner, but we were in a small village so it wasn't like it was going to get run over or anything.

So there you are, are not so very successful picnic. It was still fun though, and nice to have a change of scenery.

The perils of working in retail

I consider it a high risk job. Physically, emotionally and financially. Physically... My feet are aching so much after being on them for 6 solid hours. My head hurts because I hit myself with a mop handle. This isn't to do with working in retail I hear you cry, well, it's linked as it was the end of the day and I was tired. Emotionally... The petty little arguments and bitching that goes on, but them I guess that happens in all jobs. Oh, and the drained feeling of having to smile all day. My cheeks hate me right now. So what about financially? Well, the sale has started in work. I managed to spend over £70 on underwear even with my generous staff discount. Edd couldn't complain though, he gets to reap the benefits if you know what I mean....