It's hard being a stepmum

... when the only thing you've ever had to look after before is a cactus. And even that died. I'm getting used to it, but sometimes it is so overwhelming. And sometimes I think I'm doing it all wrong. I probably am. But I guess there isn't an instruction manual.

But this man is now my life, everything I have ever wanted. This is one thing I won't mess up.

stuff and happenings

Well, I survived Valentine's Day. It's not my most favourite day of the year, as I feel it puts too much pressure on couples to buy expensive pieces of crap, like teddies with hearts and random heart-related tat, and the meaning of the day is lost. I don't feel like I should be told to show my better half that I love them on a specific day, I show him every day. I tell him every day. And besides, this year the pressure was off as he is currently in Sweden. Although he did phone me in the morning, disrupt me from my bath TWICE (I missed the first one after a frantic scramble to get out of the bath and find a towel, and when I reached the phone it had stopped ringing)... something about his mum wanting to borrow my laptop for a presentation when they got back from Sweden... and tried to wish me a "Happy Valentine's Day" to which I shouted some abuse and went back to the bath. Half an hour I later I felt bad, and told him to call back and apologised. See, that's showing love on Valentine's Day. But anywho, I spent the evening with my housemate, who brough home wine, Sex and the City and yum yums. Honestly, Valentine's Day should be about all relationships in your life, not just the romantic one. Although, I did make it clear to her that I wouldn't be partaking in any funny business as I don't swing that way and I didn't care how much she was missing her boyfriend (he's volunteering in South Afric for 6 months, they're halfway through, times are hard).

I'm currently trying (and not succeeding so well, but not quite failing) to be a domestic goddess. I have done laundry, nearly all of it. However, the bed sheets still need changing, and my bedrrom needs hoovering. But the kitchen is still clean, and so is the rest of the house so yay for me.

I'm also getting around to copying down the recepies from all the magazines I left lying around. There are some yummy food ideas swimming around in my head, I just need the money to make them! Gosh I am missing cooking new things. My culinary skills need challenging! And I am yearning to bake! Roll on payday!

Only 4 more days until Edd is back! Yipeee!

I planned to put pictures up of stuff, but my iPhone cable is upstairs, so I'll do it tomorrow.

Finding my place

For some reason, I've recently felt that I have found my place in the world. The pieces may not all be in the right place yet, but I am a fussy mare. I have a wonderful boyfriend, and I've never felt so happy with anyone. Sometimes it scares me, I'm terrified that it's all going to go away. I still have difficulties coming to terms with his past, I've never been with a man who has been married before. I know that everyone has a past, I just feel jealous sometimes. Can I make him happy enough to want to get married again? He has said that he wants to get married in the future, and I know he wasn't happy with his previous relationship. The only happy thing about it was Emilia, his daughter. We talk openly about this, which is a huge step forward for me, as I usually bottle things up. But I'm determined to get used to it. Edd came up with a saying, we have a jigsaw family. We all fit together, even if we look different on the outside. I wouldn't change it for anything. I just wish time would hurry up and things weren't so hard with money so we could get a house and start a life together properly. It will happen, I'm just impatient!