My jigsaw family

I am never letting anything break us up.

Edd is so scared of what might happen when Emilia has a meeting with her mum next week. I'm scared too, but I'm not letting on. It kept me awak last night.

I'm distracting myself by planning her birthday party. The main thing is pink, and I'm going to make cup cakes with butterflies on top. She deserves the best and I'm determined to give it to her.

Also, Edd's mum told me that members of their church have said that we look like a family. We are. We may not be the most conventional family, but we work.

Today, I'm feeling angry...

I don't usually get angry about things. I think anger is a waste of energy usually. But today, I am angry. I am angry that the so called child courts in this country seem to think it's a good idea that a child HAS to visit a parent who used to hit them and make them miserable. Apparently, this is in the child's "best interests". OK, I understand that children need both their parents. I get it. I grew up without my dad, and yeah, in some ways it still affects me. But still, I think the whole thing will be more traumatic for the child, who has progressed so much since being with their other parent, who provides a loving and nuturing environment. The child is now outgoing and happy, will laugh and skip and sing and will talk to pretty much anyone. Just like 4 year olds are supposed to do. Understandably, the child misses their parent, but why is it fair that everyone has to go through the stress of watching the child regress back to a state of sadness for nothing?

It just doesn't make sense to me.

Rant over.

Dydd Gwyl Dewi Hapus

Now, I know I'm not Welsh, but I think that a national day that involves daffodils is great! Also, the costumes are just fantastic!



This is Emilia in the traditional St Davids costume. Doesn't she look adorable!!!!!


Happy St David's Day!

So, I'm still doing well with the whole "jigsaw family" thing. I like that saying. We may look different on the outside, but we all fit together. Emilia is happy to be back in Gorseinon, and she has told me many times that she loves me. It is still a little overwhelming, but I do love it. I am stupidly broody at the moment, but we can't afford a child right now, even though I really really want one. I know it's strange as I've only been with Edd for 4 months, but I have never been this happy before, and no relationship has ever felt so right. He is just so amazing to me and just such an amazing person. He makes me cups of tea in the morning without grumbling and complaining, in fact, he offers! I know! How often do you find a man who does that?! He opens doors for me, he always says thank you if I treat us to lunch or I put petrol in his car. And it's always genuine thanks, he says he's really grateful. I know he's really down about not having a job, and it's not like he's being a benefits bum, he's looking for a job, it's just that the market is really competitive. So, in my eyes, I'm the one who is working, so I don't mind helping out. I really do love that monkey eared boy!

In other news, I went shopping yesterday, and bought girly clothes. SHock horror, but it is true. I have decided that as I'm now 25 and have huge amounts of adult responsibility, maybe I should start dressing like an adult... At least, that's the plan, whether I succeed is another story!