Once again, a realisation has crept up on me. You know, one of those big ones that makes you stop whatever it is that you're doing and shake your head in disbelief. I shall explain...
I've been at home in Surrey this week. Well, for about 2 days anyway. I came down to visit Carys and Hannah as a joint birthday celebration (theirs, not mine)/reunion. We went to Thorpe Park, it was a truly great day. Much fun was had, many pictures were taken. It was great meeting up with them again as well. It had been just under a year since the three of us were together. Way too long. I spent the night at Carys's flat in London, and the next day we went to St James's Park and ate sushi, drank cider, and mucked around and took more photos. As you do.
So, I arrived home yesterday, pleasantly worn out, a bit sweaty from the journey home, but all in all rather content. And... my house seems different. I guess that happens when you move away. Things change. Not huge big things, but small things. A new cabinet in the living room. A new fridge/freezer combo. Parents have a new routine in the evenings, and are actually going out. My baby brother is actually looking like the teenager he now is.
Then, about 10 minutes ago, it hit me. Smack bang in the face. This isn't my home anymore. Not in the sense of "this is where I belong" home. I mean, I'll always have a place here, it's where I grew up. But it isn't where I belong anymore. I have to admit that I do feel like a guest when I visit. It's usually a case of find me a place to sleep now that my sister has moved back home. And all of my things that aren't in the attic are reduced to a drawer and half a chest in "my" bedroom. I'm going to look through them later, bring on the nostalgia. But anyways, this has all got me to thinking about where my place in the world actually is. Where do I belong? I love living in Swansea, it's more home for me now. But I can't see myself living there forever. So... where will I belong? And how long will I have to wait to find out?
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