Of being busy and without internet

So, I have been without internet for a while now. The reason for this is because we've moved. We're out of the inlaws house! The relief is immense, we are our own proper little family now. Internet will be sorted soon but once we're financially stable again. being a grown up sucks sometimes.

A return to a bit of sanity

So, I haven't blogged for a rather long time. A couple of reasons for that really. I haven't had much time, and I haven't really been in the right state of mind. Anything I would have written in the last month or so would have been miserable and a huge rant. Nobody wants to read that really.

However, I'm feeling a lot more cheerful these days, probably because it's nearly Christmas and Starbucks have gingerbread lattes! Oh so much love for those red cups of joy!

I have also been with Edd for a year now! So much happiness coming from that.

Anywho, here is a brief update of the happenings of me, before normal blogging resumes:

My niece has turned one! We went to my parents' house for her birthday, much cake was eating. A very long day though!

My cousin and his wife came to stay with us at the end of October, and we went out for a meal. Emilia had ice cream...

She was rather excited!

We made a cake. Licking the mixture from the bowl is always the best part!

Our pumpkins for Halloween!

Emilia dressed up as a ghost pirate for Halloween. Edd's choice, and he chose well! She looked ace!

My loved up man. He doesn't like this one so much, as he says he looks camp. But also likes it a lot because he says he looks loved up and happy. It's clearly  big dilemma for him!

One year together, filled with highs and lows. Many more to follow. Still stupidly loved up. Not apologising one tiny bit for the soppiness of this!

Bonfire night! Sparklers! And oh so many fireworks! (and a fair few hot dogs!)

Raspberry Pavlova ice cream? Don't mind if I do!

Edd's parents are back from Sweden. This means Emilia is back, yay! This also means that the clashing of opinions has started and in the past 4 days there have been plenty of raised voices, boo. It's just getting used to all 5 of us living under the same roof again, but still, the stress levels are high at the moment. Hence the ice cream.

In other news, we have pretty much booked the wedding reception venue! Yay! It's all suddenly getting really real now. Oddly enough, all I can think about is having a little baby boy to be a page boy in a cute little suit.... got to stop being broody!

Emilia has now decided that when she is an adult, she's going to be a doctor. I was her first patient...

A mixed review of a week

It's been a bit of a werid one this week. Ups and downs, laughs and tears.

Edd's job fell through. Not enough old men for them to give him hours. It's rather gutting. I know he is more upset about it than he is letting on. It's rather gutting as he wants to be working and we need the extra money, but something will turn up, I just know it will.

I felt really down on Wednesday. I think I woke up and was instantly put in a bad mood by Edd being grumpy with me for elbowing him in the ribs. Apparently I seemed awake when I did this, but as it was 4 in the morning, I highly doubt I was. So I was told of for something I did in my sleep, which seemed highly unfair to me. It was just one of those days where you feel down and want to curl up in your bed all day under the duvet, and watch girly films and read a trashy novel. Alas I had to go to work and that made it ten times worse. I have no idea why I felt like this. I got over it, and felt much better after fajitas and a cuddle in the evening. Being in a relationship is good like that, going from one extreme to the other. I guess that's how proper relationships are meant to function.

I've been positive about planning the wedding. Still so many ideas running through our heads. It's good that I can talk to Edd about it, and I really don't want him to feel left out. I've been looking through magazines with Angharad (one of the mums from Emilia's school), as she's getting married next year and is getting excited about it. I never realised how much planning a wedding takes. It's bloody good fun though!

I'm also doing really well in work, and proving that I am a hard worker. I made a ridiculously big sale today after a successful bra fit. I'm trying to prove myself invaluable to the shop, which I think I'm doing as I know everything that is going on in the stockroom and how to work well on the shop floor. It's all about self preservation, I don't want to be let go if they need to get rid of people!

So... BIG NEWS!

I'm engaged! Yay! It's all very exciting and I feel like I'm living on cloud nine! I've had a very busy 2 weeks. So much for holidays being relaxing!

Edd proposed out in Sweden, with his nan's engagement ring. I said yes obviously. Some people have said that it might be a bit soon, but I disagree. Sometimes you just know and life can be a fairy tale. I am so in love with this guy and I can't wait to be his wife!

There's no higher ground to stand than bottom of the pile

Money worries. They come to all of us sooner or later. In my case, they have never really left. I guess I can count myself lucky in that I have a job. Edd gets down because he's unemployed and there are just no jobs out there at the moment. And the ones he does apply for, he either never hears back or has an interview, gets told there are about 100 people applying for 1 position, and never hears back from the interview. He wants to be working. I want him to be working, it would do his self confidence the world of good. But in the meantime, I don't mind being the breadwinner. If only the money was a bit better. But we're coping. Just. Money is tight this month, what with having to pay the excess on the car insurance after my bump, and buying food as Edd's parents aren't here to do it. I never relied on them for food, his mum had always cooked dinner when I got home from work, and every time I offered to buy food they wouldn't let me. Still, we have enough food to keep us going for a while, and more money coming in at the end of the week, it's just going to be a week of no spending until Friday. I don't need much anyway. I have everything I need lying next to me (it's Edd, not Batman).

What happens when you stop going out partying, but then decide to try and keep up with the friends who still do

You are sitting on your bed the next day, it's just gone 10pm, it's a Saturday night, and all you can think about is how much you just want to go to sleep. To curl up under the duvet and give your tired, partied out feet a rest. To sleep in a proper bed, rather than on your friend's sofa, which was leather, so very cold, and you got poked in the middle of the night (read morning) by a sneaky tv remote that had hidden itself behind a cushion. But then you realise... you're only 25, you shouldn't be considering bed at this time. It's the weekend for crying out loud. Well do you know what I think to that?

Sod it.

I don't feel the need to go out partying all the time anymore. To try and piece together the hazy blur of the previous drunken night from embarassing pictures and even more mortifying stories kindly regailed to you by your "friends" the following day. No, I find it weird to say it, but I don't want that anymore. I was talking with a friend of mine last night about how weird the different paths people take in life are. I could honestly tell you right now, hand on heart, that a year ago I wasn't planning on settling down anywhere in the near future. And yet I have, and I am happier now than I was back then. I've done the crazy things, the messing around and the ridiculously drunken nights. I've got that out of my system (which apparently means I may have avoided having a mid-life crisis, result!), and to be honest, before I met Edd I was getting bored of going out. It was always the same place, the same faces, and the same feeling of emptiness the next day. And the dodgy stomach of course. But now, I am happy going out once a month, if that. It brings the fun back to it, and I appreciate it a lot more. I wouldn't change my nights in snuggled up watching a film, or even just feeling exhausted from running around after a 5 year old all day, for all the free drinks in Swansea. I'm not saying that I'm becoming a hermit, a social leper of sorts. Not at all. I'm a very sociable person, and always will be. I guess I'm just saying that I feel as though I've grown up and found my place in life. Even if my nights out do involve lovely pictures such as this.....

So, here I am, 25 years young, 10.20pm on a Saturday night, saying, Goodnight all, I'm off to the Land of Nod.

Family time begins...

So, Edd's parents have left. The house is silent. There's no Emmerdale or Coronation Street or murder mystery blasting out from the TV. There's just the peace and quiet of the three of us.

And so begins a new chapter in the story of my jigsaw family. This story will mostly be starring this little girl...

This handsome man....

And your favourite heroine....

So, I had a new experience this evening. Anyone remember those adverts where the stressed out mum is trying to relax in the bath and the kids come bursting in to use the toilet? Yep, that happened to me. Emilia needed the toilet, and just walked in the bathroom. She then asked me why my bath smelt funny. I kindly informed her that it wasn't my bath, it was the fact that she was having a poo and making the room smell. She thought this was hilariously funny, me not so much.

Just while I think about it.....

Lying here on my bed next to my gorgeous boyfriend who is watching football and being manly... I can't help but think how lucky I am and how everything will turn out fine, I just know it will.

When does the honeymoon period end?

So, I've heard it said that after 6 months of being in a relationship with someone, the honeymoon period ends. I've been thinking about this, and I'm not sure it really applies to my relationship.

In over 6 months of being together, we've only had 1 whole week completely to ourselves. Even now, as I type this, Batman is walking over my torso to get attention. Paw to the boob isn't the most pleasant experience. Anywho, as I mentioned, we've only had one week to ourselves, where we haven't had Emilia or his parents around. In the beginning, we only had the time after her dropped Emilia off at school, and before he picked her up again. At weekends, we were rarely alone. So, our relationship didn't have a conventional start. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying this was a bad thing in any way at all. It made us find out that we're good together very quickly. We're still learning new things about each other now, and there are probably still thousands of things we've still yet to find out about each other. But did we ever have a honeymoon period? Did we ever have that crazy about each other phase where we couldn't keep our hands off each other? Where we sickened other people around us with our lovey dovey behaviour? I think we did.

I still wake up every morning and feel incredibly lucky to be with such a lovely guy. I've never properly lived with a boyfriend before, and I honestly thought that the first time I did, it wouldn't happen so quickly. But here I am, and it doesn't feel weird or scary. His daughter calls me mummy, and it doesn't feel weird or scary. I still fall more in love with him every day, and maybe this is still the honeymoon period. Maybe the honeymoon period doesn't have to end, because when you find the right person, that's how love is meant to be.

Sorry for the excessive use of slushiness here. It has been playing on my mind recently, and I've been thinking about past relationships, and why they didn't last past the 6 month mark. This one is different, and I can't explain it. Maybe it's a sign I've grown up? Or maybe it's a sign I've completely lost my mind? Only time will tell. Until then, I'm going to keep doing this.....

Finding a bit of "me time"

It has become increasingly difficult recently. I've moved in with Edd, and so it's chaotic 24/7. Emilia is getting used to the stability of having a mum, so she can be clingy at times, and only wants to do things with me. I still haven't unpacked all of my things, as there isn't room yet. We're still trying to find Edd a job. Batman has settled in well, although it's hard work stopping the cats eating each others food. And during all this, I am trying to finish knitting the blanket for my niece and learning Swedish (I've been saying this for a while, but I mean it this time!)

Nobody said being an adult would be this stressful! Why didn't anyone warn me?!