Love is....

...the hug after a hard day at work

...accepting that one of you snores loudly, the other is a mean sleep talker prone to kicking their loved one out of bed

...cooking together and arguing about who does the washing up

...not getting angry that he squeezes the toothpaste from the top of the tube

...talking through the tough times rather than just shouting and giving up

...waking up at 6am to take your other half to work, and even making her a cup of tea before she leaves

...making a packed lunch for one another

...telling each other how much you love each other before bed

...never holding each other back

...laughing at each others really bad jokes

...feeling comfortable breaking wind in front of each other, even doing it competitively

...never feeling ashamed about crying

...this....

Part way to being a grown up

Kelly at work asked me today how I knew Edd was The One. I didn't know how to reply. There wasn't one defining moment. At least, I can't think of one. No bolt of lightning, a flourish of trumpets or anything like that. I just knew. Apparently this can just happen. I'm all for going with gut feelings, listening to your intuition and all that. I couldn't offer any advice on how I knew, which I what I think she angling for. When Edd proposed to me, there was no doubt in my mind that I would say yes. Honestly, I'd thought about it many times before. About where and when it would happen, but no amount of thinking can prepare you for it. I knew I wanted to marry the man I call Eddbum about 3 weeks after we got together. I daydreamed seeing him at the end of a church aisle giving me the wink that makes my insides melt, wearing a suit. Now, most would agree that this is rather an odd daydream to be having so soon in to a relationship, seeing as we had only kissed the first time a few days before. Want to know something even more odd? Edd had the same kind of daydream at the same time. Yeah. Freaky.

Maybe it's just all a part of growing up and finding your place in the world. It just happens naturally, you don't notice it. Just like many of the big things in life, you can't predict it coming, but when it does it feels like the most natural thing in the world. I want this to be my place in the world, I can't imagine anywhere else I'd rather be.

So... BIG NEWS!

I'm engaged! Yay! It's all very exciting and I feel like I'm living on cloud nine! I've had a very busy 2 weeks. So much for holidays being relaxing!

Edd proposed out in Sweden, with his nan's engagement ring. I said yes obviously. Some people have said that it might be a bit soon, but I disagree. Sometimes you just know and life can be a fairy tale. I am so in love with this guy and I can't wait to be his wife!

A message to my man

Dearest Eddbum,

Today, I am very proud of you. You've got a job! I know you're trying to be all modest and blase about it, but inside I know you're incredibly happy. I am very very happy too. I know things have been tough this past year for you, and I am hoping that I've made things better. You're an incredibly strong person, even though you don't think it. You're a wonderful dad to Emilia, she thinks the world of you. You're a wonderful boyfriend to me, and I am incredibly lucky to have you. I know I moan sometimes, and nag, and get grumpy about trivial things, I just want every aspect of our life together to be perfect. It's days like today that make me realise that what we have is perfect already. So what if the washing up doesn't get done? We all have each other, we help each other and spur each other on. Even at 6 in the morning when Batman has an accident on the bed....

Today is the start of new things for us, bigger and better things. I want you to know that I love you stupidly big amounts, and I know you're going to do great.

Love,

Your Special K

Gluten free living

It can be a little stressful. You can't just go to the shop and buy a cake. Well, you can, but it'll cost you three times as much. I took the decision to live mostly gluten free for Edd. I still have bread and breadcrumbed stuff, normal burgers and normal sausages (sometimes), but mostly, everything I cook is gluten free. I don't believe it's fair that he has to eat it all by himself, and also this means that I'm not cooking 2 different meals each night. This has meant that I have sacrificed Domino's and Pizza Hut, but isn't that what love is about? A bit of give and take? It just means that I get to bake more cupcakes, and I really do love baking!

So, in my gluten free endeavours, I am going to make mini pizzas. The pizza bases Edd gets on prescription are alright, but they're small and go quickly. The boy loves pizza. So, I found a recipe for mini pizzas, and the plan is to make a whole batch of them, then freeze them (precooked obviously), so we can use them whenever. It'll be gluten free bread after that, but I'm taking it one step at a time. Besides, my gluten free chicken and mushroom pie didn't turn out too bad....

Ever wondered why there are no famous chef couples?

Because cooking with your other half is ridiculously stressful!

Today, we attempted chocolate and orange cookies, and chicken and mushroom pie. All gluten free of course. Anyway, the food turned out great. The cookies were a little crispy, but I was distracted by trying to instruct Edd and left them in the oven too long. But we haven't poisoned anyone, and the food left everyone full up. Emilia even ate the mushrooms in the pie without too much fuss!

But still, trying to instruct your "better half" without sounding like a bossy cow is pretty much impossible. And with the oven on raising the temperature in the room, and you getting frustrated when your boyfriend doesn't understand the words "add slowly"... it can make for a pie with a dodgy pastry crust. Still, I am very proud of our effort. Just need to stop taking my anger out on the pastry....

Just while I think about it.....

Lying here on my bed next to my gorgeous boyfriend who is watching football and being manly... I can't help but think how lucky I am and how everything will turn out fine, I just know it will.

When does the honeymoon period end?

So, I've heard it said that after 6 months of being in a relationship with someone, the honeymoon period ends. I've been thinking about this, and I'm not sure it really applies to my relationship.

In over 6 months of being together, we've only had 1 whole week completely to ourselves. Even now, as I type this, Batman is walking over my torso to get attention. Paw to the boob isn't the most pleasant experience. Anywho, as I mentioned, we've only had one week to ourselves, where we haven't had Emilia or his parents around. In the beginning, we only had the time after her dropped Emilia off at school, and before he picked her up again. At weekends, we were rarely alone. So, our relationship didn't have a conventional start. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying this was a bad thing in any way at all. It made us find out that we're good together very quickly. We're still learning new things about each other now, and there are probably still thousands of things we've still yet to find out about each other. But did we ever have a honeymoon period? Did we ever have that crazy about each other phase where we couldn't keep our hands off each other? Where we sickened other people around us with our lovey dovey behaviour? I think we did.

I still wake up every morning and feel incredibly lucky to be with such a lovely guy. I've never properly lived with a boyfriend before, and I honestly thought that the first time I did, it wouldn't happen so quickly. But here I am, and it doesn't feel weird or scary. His daughter calls me mummy, and it doesn't feel weird or scary. I still fall more in love with him every day, and maybe this is still the honeymoon period. Maybe the honeymoon period doesn't have to end, because when you find the right person, that's how love is meant to be.

Sorry for the excessive use of slushiness here. It has been playing on my mind recently, and I've been thinking about past relationships, and why they didn't last past the 6 month mark. This one is different, and I can't explain it. Maybe it's a sign I've grown up? Or maybe it's a sign I've completely lost my mind? Only time will tell. Until then, I'm going to keep doing this.....