Aaaaand.... relax

Well, I am no longer working door to door sales. Last week went from bad to worse, I didn't get much help or support, so yesterday I quit. It was getting too stressful, I wasn't enjoying it and I was becoming grumpy. I'm not a grumpy person, so that was a big indicator for me that it was time to leave. Luckily, I have some part time work lined up in the diner I used to work in, which should turn in to full time after a few weeks. I'm not looking for loads and loads of cash. Just enough to get buy and treat myself occasionally. Happiness is the important thing at the end of the day. I feel so much more relaxed now anyway. It's 1.45 in the afternoon and I've yet to shower and get dressed! It feels great! I can have me time at last!

So tonight, I am going out with my lovely boyfriend to get drunken and chill out. Good times.

Are you happy where you're standing still?

I've been in a funk for the last few days. I can tell you why... negativity. It just seems to be everywhere at the moment. I can't escape! And try as I might, it's affecting me. I'm not a negative person. Well, not recently anyways. It seems that most of my negativity ended a while ago and recently it's been fun fun fun. But now... pfft. I honestly enjoy my job. Yes, it's hard work. Yes, it's not for everyone. But I'm good at it. I'm not a pushy sales person, I enjoy chatting to people. I'm getting paid to chat! But if I leave my flat in the morning after having a negative conversation about all the things I'm doing wrong with my life, well, it's not going to help me make money, is it? I can't go and be chatty to people if I'm feeling like shit. So... for the record...

1. I have no problems in my relationship at all. Yes, I made mistakes in the past, but people shouldn't be judged on that. And if my love life is so interesting to you, maybe you should take a look at your own. I'm bloody happy with a lovely boyfriend.

2. I have a job which pays well because I put in the effort. Yes, it's not for everyone, but if your friends hated it, it's probably because they thought it would be easy and it's not. It's hard work.

3. I am barely at home anymore, I make little mess, I feel like I can't even leave a plate on the side without having committed a cardinal sin.

Now, don't get me wrong. I love my flatmate to bits. I really do. She's helped me through some tough times and I can't think of anyone else I would rather live with. But people go through ups and downs, and I guess this is just a down. I work bloody hard so I can stay in Swansea. I love it here. I have a life here now. I have wonderful people supporting me. Friends who aren't even here, who don't see me hobbling around my flat because my feet are covered in blisters from walking around solidly for 8 hours, 6 days a week. I get support from Mike. Yeah, he's upset that he can't see me during the week, but he's supportive of my job. He sends me encouraging texts during the day, asks me how I'm doing, tells me I can do my job and he's proud of me. I honestly can't see how I'd fuck this relationship up, and I have no intention of doing so. I've grown up, I feel I have, and people can't go around judging others on past experiences, as nobody would ever progress. Also, my mum sending me links for jobs in the civil service and other jobs all the time doesn't help. Especially on the days where I have no sales, feel terrible and want to jack it all in. But that's a very delicate conversation to have and I'm not in the best frame of mind for that yet.

So, that was my little rant. I needed to get it out as it's been stressing me out, hence why I had a migrane of death last night which meant I couldn't work today as I couldn't see straight. My plan to combat this negativity? Avoid it until something else comes along and it all blows over. I know I'm good at my job, I'm happy with my life, so I'll just focus on the positives, the nice things that are said and sod the rest of it.

I haven't updated on my New Years Resolutions for a while... this Saturday I am going to a vegan restaurant with Mike, so that's my new experience for the month! Well, in all honesty, this whole month has been a new experience for me! But this is my definite one!

Also, one of my best friends Hannah is up this weekend, which I am uber excited about. Although it won't be the same without Carys here. It will be like a gingerbread man missing his gum drop buttons. Sigh.

Owwwwwww!

Does anyone know a miracle cure for blistered swollen feet?! Honestly, I have tried everything!

Trying to get it right

Well, after my horrible horrible day on monday, I kicked arse on tuesday. We had a blizzard and I still made 2 sales. I beat my leader. I was on fire. And it's all gone to poo again these past 2 days, and I can't see where I'm going wrong. I have 6 sales left to meet my goal for the week. 2 days left of the week. I know I can do this job, I just know I can. It's hard work, my feet are absolutely killing me. But I WANT to succeed. I'm not a quitter. I need to sort myself out.

It also sucks not being able to see Mike during the week. I miss him rather a lot. I know we've got the weekends together, and I know we'll make the most of it. I just miss having that hug mid-week. The one that keeps me going until the weekend. Although he has been great, kept my spirits up and made me smile even when I felt like crying yesterday. I want to do well at this job, earn the money to show him how much he means to me. Jeez, I'm falling hard for him....

Meh is the word

Well, it hasn't been a great day. I had a rubbish day at work. I spoke to loads of people but no sales. I guess it has to happen, having a bad day. It hasn't got me too down. I can see where I'm going wrong. I just need to work on it tomorrow. My shins hurt too. And the balls of my feet are just blisters. No lie. I didn't even know I had muscles in my shins that could hurt to be honest.

BUT.... tomorrow is another day and I'm gonna nail it.

Lazy Bones

I've had a busy week this week. It's also been great. My first day in the field I didn't have my badge, so I couldn't make any sales, but I was practising my pitch. And the odd thing I found was that I enjoyed the times when I was pitching, not just standing in the background observing. Yes, that's right, I actually wanted to get involved, take the forefront. What's happened to lazy Kerri then? My second day I had my badge, and went out fully raring to go. And go I did! And I made my first sale and felt over the moon! Honestly, it felt amazing! Here is photographic proof of my joy!

As you can see, there was snow. A lot of snow. Cardiff had snow, Swansea didn't. And still doesn't. They keep telling us snow is a-coming, but still, lacking snow at the moment. It was actually quite fun working in the snow, slipping over and sliding places. Snowmen and snowballs. Although it did get bloody freezing when the sun went down. I bought thermals today in preparation for next week.

Look at the snow!

That snowman on the right was about 8 feet tall!

I do love the snow. Another odd thing happened today. I didn't feel like laying around in bed all morning. Which is not like me at all. I love my bed. I honestly would marry it. And usually at the weekend (and especially with a hangover, like the one I had this morning) I can stay lazing around in bed for hours. But this morning, nope. I was awake and restless. Unfortunately for me, Mike just wanted to sleep. So I just lay there, my mind going crazy. Planning things in my head. Thinking about things I wanted to do. Today and the rest of the week. The rest of the month. The rest of the year. I making plans. This job has shown me in just one week that if I want something to happen I CAN MAKE IT HAPPEN... It's completely mind blowing, but I can do things and I will do them. And this year, I'm determined to do it all right. No more laziness for me. So now, I'm off to tidy my room!

Drunken fools...

... but we make a cute couple!

Clonk clonk

I love my new shoes that I bought for work, when I walk around my flat they go clonk clonk clonk and it's really satisfying. I can't put my finger on why.

First day at new job was a success, things are looking up.

Icy

It's very very icy at the moment in Swansea. It took me half an hour to walk to work yesterday, that's twice as long as usual, as I was slipping and sliding everywhere! And we were locked out of the call centre for half an hour as nobody had a key to get in. It was very cold, let me tell you. The ice is also bad today, Mike had trouble getting out of my road, his car was sliding all over the place. Eventually, some neighbours came to help and he managed to escape. It was all rather dramatic as he nearly slid in to a skip and another car. Stupid ice.

I've finished at the call centre! No more talking to people with swine flu. Hurrah! I start my new job tomorrow and I'm excited about it now. Best part? I don't have to start until 11am! That's a like a 4 hour extra lie-in for me! No more waking up at 5am!

Mike has now named Sundays Fajita Sundays, apparently we have to have fajitas every Sunday. I'm not complaining that much, as I do love fajitas. I had guacamole with mine today as well. Only problem is, Mike refuses to chop onions. Flat out refuses. So I am chief onion chopper. And chief weeper due to stupid onions.

I am getting on well with the knitting. I have made a phone sock for one of the old guys at the call centre. I am rather proud of myself. Slowly turning myself in to a domestic goddess! I know it's only a small thing, but it's still an achievement. Next job... fingerless gloves! (Fingers look a bit too complicated!)

Resolutions update: Going well!

In 10 years time we'll have perfect vision

Happy New Year!

Well, it's 2010, and if Hollywood were to be believed we'd all have hoverboards and spaceships now. I feel a little let down.

I had a quiet New Years Eve. I had work at 7am this morning, that could be why. Double pay though, so can't complain too much. I stayed in with my friend Natalie from work (who was staying over), and we ate a lot, drank beer and watched crap on the tv. We didn't have party poppers, so when midnight came we pulled Christmas crackers. They still went bang, and we got a joke!

So... new year, I guess that means it's time for New Years Resolutions... well, I've got a few for this year:

1. Cut down smoking as I figured quitting right off would be bloody difficult as that's what I've been doing before and failed. So me and Mike have agreed to cut down (he wants to quit too, we're supporting each other)

2. Eat healthy which I try to do anyway, but am going to make so much more of an effort. I have a bag of bananas in the kitchen, off to a good start.

3. Do one thing each day that makes me smile as I figured that I was sad for most of last year for one reason or another, and so, even though I feel happy at the moment, I want to make sure I stay that way.

4. Do one new thing each month this could be visitng a new place or trying something new. The emphasis is on the NEW... my attempt to eliminate boredom and monotony.

So there are my resolutions, and I am determined to stick to them. This year is feeling positive already, and I'm feeling positive. Yay for positivity!

I have my last shift at the call centre tomorrow. I am in two minds about it. I am so happy to be leaving, the job is making me grumpy and I have so much trouble getting up in the mornings to go to work. Just no motivation to go there at all. It's a soul destroying job. On the other hand, I have made some friends there and I will be sad to leave them and the crazy stories and conversations. I am going to make every effort to keep in contact with everyone. Much easier these days thanks to Facebook. And my plan for after I finish? Go to Mike's house and get very drunk to celebrate! And I've told him to cook me dinner. A vegan dinner, what with him being vegan and all. We'll see if this happens.

So... all that remains to say is... 2010??? BRING IT ON!